in class/literary essay

Have you read My very first kiss? My very very first kiss is about a girl named Patty. The story takes place at the bus stop,  Phyllis’s house, Phyllis’s garage and in front of Jerry's  house.

                The story is about how Patty fell in love at the bus stop. It starts off as Patty asking Annie who the new kid was that was at the bus stop. Annie said I don’t know Lets go ask so Annie approaches the the new boy, kid. Annie asks his name and introduces Patty and her and the new boy says that his name Is Jerry. I had never seen eyes so blue… eye lashes so long… a gaze so intense….                                        
 I FELL IN LOVE.

                After patty had met Jerry at the bus stop she went home and rode by his his house every day hoping he would notice that she was riding by his house every day. Patty gets invited to a party at Phillis's house and it was a boy girl party and Jerry was invited! During the party they didn't know what to do so somone sugested seven miuts in heaven but somone else sugested spin the bottle and every one agreed on spin the bottle. when the bottle landed on Jerry. He went in with Charlene. Then it was Jerry's turn to spin the bottle and it landed on Brian. Jerry spun the bottle again and it landed on me. Patty thought she would die right there. She couldn't even breath. She tryed to untangle her legs and stand up, but everything was jelly. She felt every pair of eyes on her. Somehow, I managed to get up and walk into the garage.